Le Coup De Gras

Discovery has finally conquered the big city. It was bound to happen eventually. The reality is that is can be a very intimidating place , making one not want to travel alone, but once again the music saved my life.
there's something pretty satisfying about taking the long route downtown by yourself for your own little night on the town. Armed with only a couple songs in my head, I took it to the streets. It's all gonna break from broken social scene was the theme song, and the destination yielded a few new one for the mix. Thank you caribou, thank you super furry animals. I think it will all be just fine.
it's probably been apparent that I've had some troubles adjusting to things out here. It just been hard to find the right motivation to actually leave the house. Now that I have I have a taste for it and all I need is a song in my head...And I need to buy a bus pass.

I Can't See The City

20 cigarettes just isn't enough. Out in the fog the smoke hangs above your head forever. The future is right in front of you but I'm afraid you cant see a thing. Even when you walk directly into this thick barrier, there's not way of telling you where you are. The light pollution here wont even break it down.

all my little ways fail me when I'm overwhelmed by distractions. I can't take the feeling of my own fingertips anymore. All the smalltown calouses fade away so fast in the moist big city air.

cigarettes and loneliness are the thinking man's drugs, and I can't get enough of either. With the headphones on I can't even hear. How am I supposed to write? (star wars reference). I'm still trapped in all the boxes. I seem to have overlooked what was really trapping me, which is to say I forgot to carry the one.

have you ever been happy because someone else was happy? Something happened to me and the cynic in me fell asleep at the switch if only for a moment. Someone's new exciting love thrilled me to no end for the firstime ever. I guess I'm not as hard as I thought and that gives a great hope for everyone. Mix it with some broken social scene, and we have something new. Always looking for something new.

I've always feared change which makes some people think I'm a right winger. By some people I mean my neurotic self. I now believe I'm just to lazy to try something new and I need a nice steaming pile of motivation to kick my ego legs out from under me. We should all stop thinking in absolutes.

the fog off the ocean keeps it blurry. All I can tell is I can't sit still. With my vision impaired I can't stay in once place. Maybe tomorrow I'll just keep moving on. Like the littlest hobo.



Discoveryblog celebrates its 1 year anniversary tomorrow.

Wear a Scarf to Look like Dylan

Girls look so good in the fall, wearing long jackets makes them appear tall.

This is the worst possible time to be holding it all in my good man. A terrible time to keep it all inside. I wish I could free write like I used to. I wish a lot of things. Sometimes I stay up and wait for 11:11 just to make a nice little wish. There's too much on my mind and where does it all begin. Its like looking for the end of a rope that been tangled and piled up too long.
if there's one thing to get your mind moving, it's being deprived of any form of sexual release.these things happen when you live with 4 other people most of which sleep on the floor right next to you. Mix that all in with the gorgeous autumn women, and of course the ever looming dark cloud that covers the city in this bittersweet season, and you have potential for some sort of genius. At least that what we would all like to hope for right?
the truth is I really can't concentrate. My mind is going a mile a minute. I'm out of cigarettes but I don't have a key for the apartment and no one is here. Something good has to come from this.
we are dirty dirty creatures. Nothing more.
I wish I could change what I have ultimately decided I will be. How do we go back on choices of the past. Even in a new place. At the risk of being far too cliche, old habits die hard.


here was my night last night.

Autumn - Version 2.0

Here we are (I am), in the direction of change. The damp and surprisingly hospitable west coast. I'm a bit conflicted as to whether or not I should plug this entry full of what has gone down here n the past 6 days I think storytelling is best left for my drunken nostalgia-fests that are to com ein next several months. Instead maybe I'll just throw out some of my feeling on travel as emotions are best when carefully articulated, and the only time I feel articulate is when I sit infront of a glowing monitor. If the whole thing fails, I apologize in advance.
there really is nothing quite like traveling alone. In many of my travels I have done things alone. Usually it's a means to an end and my goal is to meet up with others, but the travel part tends to be solo. From my experience I can say there is nothing more frightening.
essentially, traveling alone is like starting a brand new life. Armed with only a few possessions, you have to re-create everything that that was already built for you back home. You can have a second go at who you are. You can start a whole new character and do absolutely everything differently. You are absolutely free.
the problem is everyone else around you already has an established character and that is the intimidating part. You're the new kid walking among giants. Everyone you talk to is a first impression and there is no rehearsal, only improv. Completely out of your comfort zone (and if your from Saskatchewan is a pretty big flat zone)there are few options. Personally, I have always had the tendency to make a b-line for the closest comfort. Something, anything familiar, in my case usually someone I know. No first impressions, no new character, just someone to hold you hand and help around this strange new world.
so much for self discovery. No pun intended.
the question that burndens my mind right now is where do I go? Do I stay among the familiar in Vancouver, or do I finally challenge myself and hostel it out in Victoria? Is it really that shameful to take the easy road? How much do I really want this new life, this new character? Or do I just want the same character in a new level?
I've never been good with decisions.

in other news everything is gorgeous on the west coast. The ocean, green things and my second autumn of the year.