Long Dark Twenties

Wrapped up in music all the time. Music or some other mindless background noise. I walk, I bring headphones. Drive, turn it up. Sleeping, music.
the problem isn't music, its all the things commign towards me that I block with music. The queue is outrageous.
all my conversations are about things. Mostly about distractions. Movies, music, guitars, travel all of that. I cant even get interested in politics anymore. I cant remember the last time I spoke to someone about something worthwhile.
my favorite part of my teen years was the discovery of intimate conversation. Something you could have with anyone. All you needed was a place to have coffee and the ability to send your thoughts directly to your mouth as the came to you. It was like discovering honesty.
it seems like now in my twenties those conversation are reserve for, one specific friend (mine lives 4,000 kms away) or a significant other (nope).
so shit out of luck here I am kicking yellow leaves around the park with my gigantic hideous headphones on. Wondering why Neil could say all the things I cant.
its probably because he didn't spend his entire waking life listening to Neil young records.

October Zodiac Attack

Good morning.

I am a follower of astrology. You may dismiss it as quackery, but perhaps you just are not seeing it in the light that I do. As an educated person, there is certainly now way anyone can convince me that the positions of the stars based on the date of your birth represent my individual future. That's almost as crazy as believing in an omnipotent being who crafted man kind in his likeness.

I see astrology more as a guide. Someone to tell you what the path ahead may look like. Some one to motivate you to step in the right direction. It takes you no further than the door. Weather or not you walk through it is up to you.

really it all comes back to bokononism. For those of you unfamiliar with this read cat's cradle, or look it up in wikipedia. The karas, the grantfallons, the foma. Its all a half joke. The grantfalloon is my personal favorite as everyone belongs to hundreds of them and we shape our very being around an ideal. I know myself to be the zodiac sign Leo. would I still have the trait of a Leo if I had no knowledge of the zodiac? Are there really any inherent beliefs, or is it all taught to us by the action of others?

for example, when an Irish baby is born, he doesn't know or the Irish drinking pride. Until he is told he is Irish. Then he, hears that Irish like to drink. He is Irish, so he must like to drink. Assume that child is later told he is adopted. His real parents were Hungarian. He hasn't a drop of Irish blood in him. Only two things can happen from here. He will stop ranting about his Irish heritage and slow the whole Irish drinking pride, or he will say "fuck it all, I was raised Irish". The latter is about 90% more likely. When you find out your indentity is foma, all that is left is more and more foma. There's no letting go.

I had a wonderful horoscope this month. We leos will take you to town. Go lions!