Ebb and Flow

Its getting harder to look inwards. movies have been telling me for years that people don't change. what they forgot to tell me, and you for that matter, is that we grow up and evolve and leave things behind. sometimes even passion can get left behind. every passion is different. each one requires a different method to rekindle. what that means is that if you've lost 3 or 4 old passions, you have your work cut out for you. you can run yourself ragged trying to be what it is you thought you used to be, which really is never as good as you are now anyway.
i love to write. sometimes i forget how much i love to write. sometimes i just lose motivation to do so. getting that motivation back can be tricky, especially when you're not sure why you did it in the first place. is easy to be cynical at times such as those. say i'm just trying to form an image for myself. its all for vanity or some other superficial cause. and maybe it is. but not %100.
so what is it then?
i suppose its a conversation with myself.
getting to know myself a little better out loud.
and putting it out there just in case anyone is intersted.