Wild World

I cant sleep again and feel like I've been up all night burning bridges. I've never really liked thunderstorms, maybe that's it.
what do I do when I cant sleep? I come on the computer and try to clear up the things in my head. All here for no one. Its always been about me, and it always will be.
I think I'm waiting here for someone. Or maybe something electronic. Something to love maybe. How did I go from a night of lovely music to a night of fire and lightning. All I know is that my first cd will be dedicated to my mom and dad for they're patience with my aloofness and melodrama. A 22 year old with parental angst is a hideous beast indeed.
sometimes I wonder if I'm a hard person to know. When I think of my personality around certain friends I wonder if I would really want to be my friend. You are what you pretend to be but what am I. Am I the guy who talks a lot but never says anything? I feel so annoying.

I did discovery one wonderful thing today. I need to be alone. I need to be bored. Eventually I pick up my instrument and the most wonderful things start to flow from me. I start to remember why I play in the first place. For me. Its always been about me, and it always will be.