Hyper-Tensions
One of my favorite people once advised me that if I cant fall asleep, the best thing to do is face it. Get up, have a glass of milk and put your mind to work. Sadly my minds work, is blogging.
it seems an unlikely coincidence that in the past 4 years since high school that I have been a mild insomniac. When I was in high school, I used to read rants by this aforementioned favorite person about how most of his adult life has been lived at night. Nothing glamorous. Just doing nowhere things in nothing places, with some shitty late night TV in the mix to keep it interesting.
it just makes me wonder, if it infact is true that you are what you pretend to be. When I look at what I am now and who I was 5 or 6 years ago, I try and think of how I got to this point. Smoking, drinking, music, and insomnia. That would have been unheard of. At least most of.
and then I got back even more and I have to ask "why the long hair?" or "why the beard" and maybe "where the fuck did this ego come from?".
I am what I pretend to be. These questions all have painfully long answers. Point is that I'm exactly who I wanted be. I gave myself this persona and I carried it out. Its really not very hard.
problem is I've been this for too long and I need something new. Discovery is bored out of his goddamn mind.
still no sleep. Not even the slightest sign of fatigue. When I lay awake thinking of why I cant sleep I often wonder what it could be that causes this. Smoking? Drinking? Maybe the fact that I have the worst eating habits of all time? Could I actually fix this?
I make the commitment right then and there to make myself heathier. The problem is that once I get to sleep, its takes me about an hour to actually get out of bed. I wake up so tired that I just cant function. I don't have the energy to make myself real food so I eat chips or make myself a hot dog or some other god awful garbage meal. Then I feel full and gross so I have a cigarette. I sit at home, and maybe leave the house around 10pm when I finally get some energy. I drive everywhere, I never walk. I try at sleep around 2:30 and lay awake until 4. Repeat.
its a sad state of affairs really.
so really what can be done? Well I know what to do. Eat some vegetables stop smoking and sell my car.
I'm missing what city has to offer in the springtime. Trapped in a box.
when did my blog become a journal? Gross.
it seems an unlikely coincidence that in the past 4 years since high school that I have been a mild insomniac. When I was in high school, I used to read rants by this aforementioned favorite person about how most of his adult life has been lived at night. Nothing glamorous. Just doing nowhere things in nothing places, with some shitty late night TV in the mix to keep it interesting.
it just makes me wonder, if it infact is true that you are what you pretend to be. When I look at what I am now and who I was 5 or 6 years ago, I try and think of how I got to this point. Smoking, drinking, music, and insomnia. That would have been unheard of. At least most of.
and then I got back even more and I have to ask "why the long hair?" or "why the beard" and maybe "where the fuck did this ego come from?".
I am what I pretend to be. These questions all have painfully long answers. Point is that I'm exactly who I wanted be. I gave myself this persona and I carried it out. Its really not very hard.
problem is I've been this for too long and I need something new. Discovery is bored out of his goddamn mind.
still no sleep. Not even the slightest sign of fatigue. When I lay awake thinking of why I cant sleep I often wonder what it could be that causes this. Smoking? Drinking? Maybe the fact that I have the worst eating habits of all time? Could I actually fix this?
I make the commitment right then and there to make myself heathier. The problem is that once I get to sleep, its takes me about an hour to actually get out of bed. I wake up so tired that I just cant function. I don't have the energy to make myself real food so I eat chips or make myself a hot dog or some other god awful garbage meal. Then I feel full and gross so I have a cigarette. I sit at home, and maybe leave the house around 10pm when I finally get some energy. I drive everywhere, I never walk. I try at sleep around 2:30 and lay awake until 4. Repeat.
its a sad state of affairs really.
so really what can be done? Well I know what to do. Eat some vegetables stop smoking and sell my car.
I'm missing what city has to offer in the springtime. Trapped in a box.
when did my blog become a journal? Gross.
posted by Jonathan at 2:33 AM
1 Comments:
And don't buy a deepfryer. =)
--k
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