The Shelf Life of an Ordeal
Its difficult to force ones self not to believe that everything happens for a reason. That's things don't all happen for a reason. My time has gone this way and couldn't have gone any other. Destiny? Fate? Probably not something should dive into head first.
Now is the time of year where my dreams start to take meaning. Trying to turn that meaning into something beautiful is impossible. Dreams are so vulgar an spastic that they can only truly having meaning to the dreamer. Anything else is simply coincidence or incorrect interpretation.
there are many ways to completely vanish. I can be invisible anytime I want. In a big city like this, there is no consequence. Only delays. Delays are something far far worse in my mind. Consequence is immediate. Its harsh and mostly just. Delay is like being in limbo. Trapped indefinitely. Nothing you do will bring consequence. Only further delays.
Coasting along on the b-line, I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. A woman in her 20's manages to find a seat. Among the rest of us in limbo, she has on her best bus face. The one thing we all share. She opens her backpack and reveals two knitting needles and a baby blue wool. She smiles to herself so discretely and begins to knit. Suddenly she created an entire universe within her person. I noticed immediately how her air had changed. Without a though or change in her physical surrounds of being, she left the limbo we all shared.
her face was the picture of serenity. She had no facial expression, not a smile, not a word. Just the look of someone deep into something only she could understand. She moved the yarn around the needles without thinking it seemed, but with ever moment that passed I could see her drift further and further from her actual surroundings. She calmly became something so spiritual and beautiful. A light that could only be seen by those who wanted to see it. She was completely free. Completely at peace.
of course al I could do was to watch from a distance. Trying to make myself seem like I was looking at something else. I didn't want to cause any more delays. The best part is, I feel like, if only for a moment, she took me with her. She didn't know it, but I stole a few seconds away from limbo. Her serene and simple act. That's all it took.
I wish I knew what that meant.
Now is the time of year where my dreams start to take meaning. Trying to turn that meaning into something beautiful is impossible. Dreams are so vulgar an spastic that they can only truly having meaning to the dreamer. Anything else is simply coincidence or incorrect interpretation.
there are many ways to completely vanish. I can be invisible anytime I want. In a big city like this, there is no consequence. Only delays. Delays are something far far worse in my mind. Consequence is immediate. Its harsh and mostly just. Delay is like being in limbo. Trapped indefinitely. Nothing you do will bring consequence. Only further delays.
Coasting along on the b-line, I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. A woman in her 20's manages to find a seat. Among the rest of us in limbo, she has on her best bus face. The one thing we all share. She opens her backpack and reveals two knitting needles and a baby blue wool. She smiles to herself so discretely and begins to knit. Suddenly she created an entire universe within her person. I noticed immediately how her air had changed. Without a though or change in her physical surrounds of being, she left the limbo we all shared.
her face was the picture of serenity. She had no facial expression, not a smile, not a word. Just the look of someone deep into something only she could understand. She moved the yarn around the needles without thinking it seemed, but with ever moment that passed I could see her drift further and further from her actual surroundings. She calmly became something so spiritual and beautiful. A light that could only be seen by those who wanted to see it. She was completely free. Completely at peace.
of course al I could do was to watch from a distance. Trying to make myself seem like I was looking at something else. I didn't want to cause any more delays. The best part is, I feel like, if only for a moment, she took me with her. She didn't know it, but I stole a few seconds away from limbo. Her serene and simple act. That's all it took.
I wish I knew what that meant.
posted by Jonathan at 3:47 AM
3 Comments:
Beautiful.
-k
you have such a beatiful way with words, i wish to hear them someday, aloud in my ear. It would be nice, it would be nice.
that is one of the most beautiful things i ever read. nice things don't happen to me on busses.
-savannah mae.
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