The Great Divorce

it just came to my attention how essential my trip around the world is to my very being. though at the same time, with no physical representative to report all my findings to, how can i properly function. its a double edged knife based on something i just cant my head around..not yet anyway. the problem with work and school and the like is they are such distractions from all my metaphysic needs. without a place to be without that life to live you are free to learn on your own. i don't have time to read. i have to distract myself from the distractions of the other distractions. does that make sense? obligation leads to a need for distraction in a way. i'm really having a hard time with this so bear with me. i'm so glad there are movies like i heart hukabees out there. you need to be able to poke fun and the quasi pretentiousness of existential thought. if anything is motivation for progress. the fact of the matter is, i believe i need to be alone and free of responsibility and obligation to further grasp whatever it is i'm looking for. the catch is that without someone to share and discuss any enlightenment, it doesn't feel that rewarding. maybe thats the lion inside talking. everyone should know me complex. setting up a time where you commit to being creative is a lot like setting up times to have sex. you'll never get what you want. it will always feels just a little hollow. however, perhaps devoting a large amount of time to being without distraction will give more opportunity to stop and actually decipher the complexities of every day being.