Reluctant to find, he's.....

"my time is now wholely devoted to personal gain. And I feel fucking wonderful. How could I not really. In a city where the air never changes, you're bound to feel at home. changing subjects abruptly, what actually defines a functional alcoholic? I mean, its seems like it should be defined on whether or not your drinking effects your priorities. However, if you have no job ( by choice), and your only priority is to relax"

I wrote that, but never posted it several months ago after leaving Vancouver and arriving home in Saskatoon. I spent a month in my home town and the abruptly took off again up to the north klondike where I spent a wonderful summer. When I arrived back home this time, the story was extremely different.

Coming home with no plan for the future is probably the dumbest thing I have ever done, in contrast to coming home for exactly one month, being the smartest. Though alcoholism still may not effect my priorities, it still runs rampant. I am unemployed, but this time not by choice. As Bruce McCulloch could once be quoted to say "the only thing worse than having a job, is looking for one".

Though I am still mostly devoted to personal gain, the stagnant air in this town is starting to make me feel a little queasy. Also, there may be such a thing as being "too at home". Sometimes having pressure from an outside source in order to get things done is a blessing, and sometimes a curse. It can motivate, or it can make you feel completely and utterly useless and exhausted.

in short, coming home for a month is a vacation. Coming home indefinitely is a sentence.